Weeks of wonkiness..........

The past two months have being very wonky, don’t know how else to put it. My body and mind haven’t being feeling up to scratch. I know this because since I’ve being completely gluten free for the past two years, and have felt fabulous- seizures brought on by my temporal lobe epilepsy had also been dramatically reduced to minor incidents. (Incidents caused by eating at friends and family homes without realizing there was gluten in the food. A rookie mistake….) So what was wrong now?
I was having episodes while at work with clients, the feeling of things being to real,  experiencing déjà-vu, nausea and dizziness. Having a tingling sensation at the back of head going down to the base of my spine. It felts like I was going slightly insane… just slightly.

Part of It felt like I was poisoning myself somehow, but I was baffled as to what it was. I eat healthy, drink enough water and most important I watch what I eat… I had to sit down and think about all of this; my eating habits, my life style and stress levels. What have I being eating??? The only thing I could think that has changed is my devouring of packets of liquorice and crisp on the daily  bases. I thought nothing of it as I consumed these items that gave me my daily fix. Why would I?

It’s just liquorice and potato crisp after all, how could they be gluten in it.  I decided to google liquorices, to find out what it is made of.  And as I tapped on the enter button I knew the word wheat or modified starch was one of the ingredients. I was gutted. As for the crisp, all I had to do was turn over packet in my hand and behold……gluten. Why hadn’t I read the label. Clearly another rookie mistake…..

So diet had been a factor, I decided to look at other factors in my life…

Have I been stressing?? I didn’t think so but the more I thought about it, the more I realize that I have being stressed and I was giving myself anxiety. I had set myself a personal goal and a time line. And as that time line came and went, I started panicking because two months after, I was still some way from reaching this goal. I decide then to go see a neurologist since I let myself fall of my wagon and I haven’t been for a checkup in over two years.  

 The challenge  for me was which neurologist to see. The last one I went to I felt was suffering from the “God complex” and had no empathy (and the fact that he put me on so much medication I was high as a kite and a non functional human being). I settled on the neurologist that first diagnosed me five years ago. As I sat in the chair, trying to describe my fit to the doctor(it’s so hard to explain to someone what happens in my brain when I get  a fit)I knew I made a mistake coming here. I tried to explained as best I could about how I had been feeling. And even though my symptoms hadn’t changed, I was told I needed to be re-diagnosed. I was stumped. On what basis did I need to be re-diagnosed? And If I needed a re-diagnoses, why was I given a prescription for a new Epilepsy medication. I couldn’t understand.

I left  the rooms confused and extremely agitated. Two days of over thinking and chewing at my nails. I decided that the best way forward was to continue to manage my lifestyle, from my eating habit to exercise. I have learnt not to over think the mundane things life to and to except life will always throw curve ball at you, it’s just how you deal with them. And most important was to have fun and enjoy the little gift life sends your way.

This was not an easy lesson to learn, specially the over thinking part. But doing this helped me manage my Temporal Lobe Epilepsy and Celiac Disease. Being diagnosed the Temporal lobe Epilepsy was extremely hard for me to except. The scariest thing for me was, it was genetic and if I decided to have kids there was a six percent chance of it being passed on. I didn’t want my kids going through the same feeling of chaos I did. So having the doctor tell me I had to be re-diagnosed, after living with this for most of my life and my initial diagnosis years ago and going through the acceptance process was a definite blow to my system.

 I have now made a conscious decision not to let this get me down. My mission to find a neurologist and next time I fall off my wagon to pick myself up……. Because i can, we all can ;-)

SD